Have you ever felt like you accomplished nothing in a year? That’s where I was this week, continuously doing mass deletions from my screen while trying to write a ‘Best of 2024’ New Year style post. Instead of highlights, the lists kept dwelling on the things I didn’t do. During a break, I stumbled on a reel that shifted my perspective: ‘We don’t take pictures of misery. Go back through your year of photos and see what you actually did.’ 

I did. As I looked through the photos, something unexpected hit me: amidst one of the hardest and most stressful years since university in 2017, I saw moments of joy, connection, and creativity staring back at me. I had fun!

Stuck in The Negativity Trap

Honestly, in many ways, the year really did suck. Two rejected promotions, then laid off. Two so close new jobs that didn’t pan out. Denied acceptance to a university program because my degree wasn’t “the right kind.” Still single. By fall, my best friends had moved away. By the end of the year, I’d had enough.

Every time I tried to write the list my negativity bias took over. I couldn’t reflect healthily because I felt inadequate from focusing on what I hadn’t accomplished, despite my brain knowing I had done cool things. I was doing what many Dungeon Masters (DMs) do when we finish a gaming session stuck on the mistakes, convincing ourselves no one had fun and we’re a bad DM. In reality, we’re overthinking it. The game was actually fun and learning from the mistakes or challenges faced only makes us better DMs.

So yeah, 2024 wasn’t the best. It was still filled with some incredible personal growth, and I accomplished a lot more than I ever gave myself credit for.

Looking Back on 2024

The year took me from California in the spring, to be a groomsman in a best friend’s wedding, to England in the fall, for D&D in a Castle. I finally got to visit San Francisco for the first time where I reconnected with friends I hadn’t seen since before the pandemic and I spent a day exploring the Castro, absorbing the gay history. That trip also included the first physical space games with my two Bay Area groups I’ve had online for years.

Through the summer I got two trips into the BC interior, one of those with two of my oldest friends from Australia who were visiting Canada for their first time. Those also let me spend some much-needed nerd time with my friends from Hook & Chance who live there. I even went to Minnesota! I didn’t make it to Saint Olaf, I did get to visit another one of my best friends, see his new house, and wexperince Mall of America and Nickelodeon Universe. We also enjoyed plenty of nerd time, and I even created a cool YouTube video during that trip, which will be coming out this year.

Then there were some banal yet no less rewarding moments. I finally updated my website, now it feels like it better reflects my services as The GM Tim. Part of the updates led to me writing more consistently, and though it wasn’t as much as I imagined, it felt good to see improvement, especially as I continue to learn more about navigating my ADHD diagnosis. I relaunched the Appendix Lit book club and laid the groundwork for exciting new projects, like creating “building NPCs” content I have planned. I even rode my bike so much this summer that I wore sleeveless t-shirts in public multiple times without hesitation (I can not overstate this monumental step in overcoming personal insecurities).

Goodbyes and Growth

This year brought some significant goodbyes. In my personal life, the last of my best friends who I saw regularly moved to other cities. In my gaming life, my longest-running group, who had been playing with me nearly every two weeks for seven years, took a hiatus as people’s life dice rolled different paths, time zones shifted, and family commitments took priority—I get it. They were my first group after launching The GM Tim, and they taught me more about being a better Game Master than I probably ever admitted. There’s talk of reuniting this spring, and I truly hope it happens. Another goodbye was to a group of six teens I started DMing for during the pandemic. What began as a summer outdoor Lockdown birthday party in 2020, grew into an in-person weekly game that lasted until their graduation this past summer. I’m a “free-range” adult, not a “want-children” one. I have to say, I was not ready for how this group would help heal a lot of my own childhood trauma without ever knowing it, and it’s been deeply rewarding to be part of their lives. Even with four time zones, and studies between us, we hope to transition to a bi-weekly online game this January. 

While these goodbyes marked the end of meaningful chapters, they reminded me that its part of life and games. While even the best plot hook has to finish at some point. Other things will take longer. For example, continuing with my therapy this year has been one of the hardest and most beneficial things I’ve ever done for myself. It’s been almost two years now. I started pottery around the same time as therapy, and it’s become a visual representation of my growth. Just as I’ve seen the quality of my pottery improve, I can also see the growth in my personal life. I didn’t meet all the goals my therapist and I set (I haven’t cried in about 8 years), however I have learned and that’s not really the point. Sticking with it has helped me in my brand, my gaming, my friendships, and my overall outlook on life. I’m learning that ‘working on it’ is like leveling up after a few sessions.

Milestones and Leveling up

Two annual events I attend, D20 Cruise and D&D in a Castle, have become major milestones in my life. These events feel like I’m sitting at the high-level table after years of watching from the couch. The experiences, and the DM friends I’ve made there, push me to bring my A-game—not to prove I have it, because I do. They validate my capabilities and remind me why I love this world of gaming. They are so important to me that, for the past six years, management at my old rent job would help me navigate limited PTO to ensure I could attend. In 2024, both events had a bigger impact on me than I realized until recently. 

At D20 Cruise, I partnered again with DM Neal, our games are becoming renowned among staff and attendees. Our friendship is the kind where we feed off each other’s awesomeness and silliness. We can hang out perfectly content in silence or look at each other and laugh so hard you’d think you’re watching toddlers who’ve lost all their faculties. We built an adventure series that had us telling the same story to each of our groups from opposite perspectives. Each group’s interactions with the world were reflected in the other group’s game. We even mixed them together for a large-scale battle on the last day. Two groups were so keen on this, they sought each other out to plot against us and the different scenarios they imagined we’d present.

Then there was D&D in a Castle. I was offered to run a special D&D 50th Anniversary Chronicle Mode. A 48+ hour, 6-day, campaign spanning two back-to-back Castle sets. The adventure I built took my players through classic D&D modules and settings like Expedition to the Barrier Peaks, Tomb of Horrors, and Barovia. I wove the backstories of the characters and some ‘it would be cool if’ moments the players wanted in a D&D game, into the canonical settings so that the characters directly influenced the origins of legendary D&D villains like Acererak, Strahd, and Zariel. Crafting this cohesive story that resonated with everyone involved was exhilarating, and I have never been more satisfied with how a campaign played out.

In December, I had the incredible honor of stepping in as a Dungeon Master for Blackwater DnD’s final show of the year. If you’re a forever DM like me, you’ll understand that to have another DM trust you with their world and story is precious. Especially when you respect them and their talent as much as I respect Tim Carlson. Knowing that the entire BW team supported the invitation made it even more meaningful. I am still flattered, and genuinely pleased with the quality of adventure that I was able to put together in 8 hours: I hit the marks Tim needed, I gave players moments they don’t always get, and I entertained the players and their fans. It was a perfect Christmas present.

As I drafted this blog over the last couple weeks, I noticed something had shifted for me last year. It was the first where I consistently felt like I belonged in the gaming spaces I was in. My imposter syndrome had no voice, and I didn’t question my worth at the functions I was at. Because I am worthy. Growth is like leveling up and getting feats or bonuses to the dice rolls. It won’t guarantee success, you will have a better chance of navigating the lessons or consequences tossed your way. I’m ready for 2025.

My 2025 New Year Themes

I don’t like resolutions. I find they tend to bring guilt and shame rather than encouragement and betterment. Instead, I have found that picking three themes helps create a more achievable guide for myself through the year. They often don’t always end up mean the same at the end of the year as I intended at the start, as we just learned, that’s part of it. 

• Completion: I’m tired of feeling like I’m always behind. Starting new projects while leaving others unfinished has been burning me out. Finishing a really solid update of my goblin adventure last year reminded me how satisfying it feels to complete something. Imagine how finishing the other adventures waiting for me will feel!
• Gratitude: This recap has reminded me of the power of gratitude. It’s about appreciating the joys, the friends who support me, and the opportunities I’ve been given. Gratitude is key to building a mentally healthier life, especially when I’m navigating depression and loneliness.
• Patience: Progress takes time, and that’s okay. Like my pottery, one day I will look back and see the results. Whether it’s growing my audience, building new skills, or navigating life’s challenges, I want to approach it all with patience. I don’t need everything to happen overnight.

What are your themes or goals for 2025?

Let me know in the comments below! I’d love to hear what’s on your horizon as we step into the new year together.

Upcoming 2025 Adventures